Who knew motherhood would be so inspiring?!? I have about a million ideas for blogs (that I will probably never have the time to write).
In any case, my life has changed – DUH! I have always been really driven. I worked on deadlines and really thrived in a fast-paced environment. Now, I’m just happy if I can manage to do two different things in the same day (sleeping doesn’t count). I’ve changed my mindset from meeting deadlines to reaching goals.
Basically, this is a softer way for me to fail. It doesn’t hurt quite as bad when I don’t achieve something that I wanted to accomplish (i.e. take a shower, brush my hair, go to the grocery store). If I just make a list of goals and it doesn’t get done, I’m like, “Okay, we’ll get ’em tomorrow, Champ!”
Now, if I was my old self, that would have been terrible…there was a deadline or ultimatum set and I didn’t reach it. Pretty unacceptable if you ask the pre-mom Coty. Of course, I’m really trying hard to make this a reality. I get so frustrated about not being able to get things done. It drives me nuts. This is one of those things where, maybe if I put it out there in the universe, it will happen…I will actually go with this whole “goal” thing.
In all seriousness, I do have to stop being so hard on myself; which brings me to my next blog idea. Unfortunately, Jayne doesn’t sleep long enough for me to do 2 blogs so I’m doubling up. Okay, so my new best friends; Joy, Guilt & Pain…
They are a present in every waking (and sleeping) moment of my life. It’s like the Holy Trinity of motherhood. No matter what I do, I feel like I’m doing it wrong and there’s about a 99% chance that it physically hurts; like breastfeeding (there are no words), holding Jayne (my wrists are killing me) and not being able to console her when she’s upset (it breaks my heart), but I get so much joy doing all of these painful things incorrectly. It really is crazy…or I’m crazy…or both!