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4 miles. 48 minutes. 36 seconds.

I am really proud of myself today.  The actual running portion of that time was 44 minutes if you don’t count two water stops.  This was a much needed confidence booster.  Another great thing was that I was able to carry on a conversation almost the whole time!!!  People, that’s a big deal ๐Ÿ™‚

That’s where my trilemma comes into play.  I had probably a half mile left and I was running with this guy.  We were talking about how he got involved in TNT and he never thought he’d be able to run a marathon, but he surprised himself.  It’s always good to know I’m not alone ๐Ÿ™‚  In any case, we’re talking and running and I said, “okay, I need some advice.  I’m dying right now.  I want to walk…what can I do?”

He said, “let’s slow our pace and get control of our breathing.”

So, we did just that.  When I could finally speak again, I told him that my strategy had been to keep going at my same pace and force myself to push through it.  Now, that seems like the most idiotic idea in the world.  Running a marathon isn’t about just pushing, pushing, pushing.  It’s more about control and routine.  Of course, you have to push yourself, but today I learned that control is going to be the factor that I have to work on.  I’m really thankful for those little gems that you can only get when you really listen (to other people and yourself).

Now, for the “time” part.  When we finished the run, we stopped our watches, looked at each other and said, “48 minutes and 44 minutes” simultaneously.  We got a laugh out of that and he told me that he stopped his watch at the water stops.  I asked him if he recommended doing that and he said that he did because if you count the water stops, you’ll just get yourself down.  I can totally appreciate that, but I think I’m going to continue timing the WHOLE thing.  I want to finish the marathon in less than 6 hours.  That means water stops, bathroom breaks, etc.

Obviously, while all of this is taking place, I’m thinking, “this will be GREAT for my blog.”

Well, that got me to thinking about my blog and all the topics I want to write about (the 3rd aspect of my trilemma).  I want this to be a very honest account of my marathon journey and I’ve found that my marathon journey isn’t just about running.  It includes school, work, family, etc. and my ability to balance all of that.  I know that people from every aspect of my life read this thing and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what should and should not be one here.  I’ve made my decision.  I’m not going to filter my thoughts any more; however, I do respectfully ask for your discretion should you ever choose to discuss anything in the blog.

So, here’s a little something that’s been bothering me.  Work.  I love my job.  I adore the people I work with, but there are some people who 100% work against me.  Those people, I do not adore.  I am tired of always feeling like I have to protect myself.  In fact, I’m so tired of it, I don’t even fight the fight any more. Does anyone else think it’s strange that I’m training for a marathon and taking a full course load of MBA classes during the baseball season?  I certainly do.  I have supplemented my life with so many challenges outside of work because they don’t exist at work and that’s because of politics.  I’ve been in this position before; just hoping that someone in a position much more important than mine would see a person for who they really are.  I know it will take a while because the “show” that is being put on is really good.  I mean REAALLLLLYYYY good.  If I cared to project an image of something that I’m not, I would take notes, but I don’t.  I know the show can’t go on forever though and that’s why I’m holding out hope.  Well, that and the people that I really do adore and am inspired by every day ๐Ÿ™‚  So, for now, I’ll continue to challenge myself, be myself and just pray.  Plus, it’s probably not a bad thing for me to be finding so much fulfillment outside of work.  That’s a big change for me and change is good!

Have a beautiful weekend!


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